always in my heart
entropie
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State: Ill-noise
Birthday: 8/13/1985
Gender: Female


Interests: Being loud, obnoxious, and dramatic; scaring people; drawing; thinking; listening to music (my taste is oh-so-eclectic); pretending to be productive; singing; writing; dancing; rambling; nature watching.
Occupation: Student


Message: message me


Member Since: 7/14/2002

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Monday, January 30, 2006

It's time to sever these ties.

1,296 days. This blog has lasted much longer than my other ones.

It's been long overdue.

Peace.


Sunday, January 29, 2006

I can still see them, even if I can't feel them. The stars are beautiful tonight.


Saturday, January 28, 2006

Currently Listening
I'm Ready
By Tevin Campbell
Always in My Heart
see related

Where do they get off telling you
that I am not the least bit into you
Just tell me how the hell the can tell you they know what's in my heart
What do they get from telling you
That I don't give a damn about you
Just tell me why the hell somebody wants to tear your heart apart

[Bridge]
Oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why
Why do some people have to tell you lies
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
I love you more than words could ever show
I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't explain
Why do some people have to be that way
I can't take much more, I can't ignore
I have to let you know what's in my heart

[Chorus]
If I never ever say that I love you
Just remember, girl, I'm saying I do
You can know that from this moment you are always in my heart
If I never ever say that I love you
Just remember, girl, I'm saying I do
love you
You'll be always in my heart

They're not the ones to be there for you
When you need someone to turn to
They won't be anywhere, be anywhere when things start falling down, oh yeah
They're only in it to confuse you
So they can turn around and use you
But it can't happen, it won't happen girl as long as I'm around

[Bridge]
[Chorus]

Oh, why, why, why, why, yeah
Why did you have to listen to the lies
Oh, girl, my sweet girl
Well, there is only you inside my world
Oh, please, baby please
I wish you could believe in me
Right now, right now
If only you could know

[Chorus]


Currently Reading
Wisdom Sits in Places: Landscape and Language Among the Western Apache
By Keith H. Basso
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I read the "Stalking With Stories" chapter of that book for my anthro class. It was deep and really intriguing.

Not much for an update right now. I'm still exhausted after the second week. I'm starting to doubt if I'll be able to catch up on sleep and get used to morning classes. Low energy this semsester, though I'm not unmotivated.

I have a lot of mixed feelings lately. Low energy = less patience = moodier. I really don't want to be. I'm just too tired for a lot of things lately. There's this nagging feeling.... slowly coming to the realization that I must accept certain things that I've been hoping and fighting against for some time. Low energy = pessimism. Well, I guess I'm not really a pessimist. Low energy = less optimism.

I feel very disconnected from everyone. It only makes complete sense.


Saturday, January 21, 2006

Your Birthdate: August 13
You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge.
While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator.
Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down.
You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way.

Your strength: You always get the job done

Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault

Your power color: Gray

Your power symbol: Checkmark

Your power month: April
 
 
Yeesh, it's kinda scary how true that was.

School has been ok. I still haven't had my Adv491 class since it's on Monday, but the rest of my classes seem straight. It looks like I'll be doing a lot more papers this semester, though. I realized I'm only taking 15 hours, which explains why it seems like I have quite a bit of time on my hands. But that could just be because nothing's really underway yet. Ha ha.

I actually worked out on both Wednesday and Friday. I'm aiming for both those days to try to get a little exercise in, though I learned on Wednesday to hit up CRCE a lot earlier. Now that IMPE's closed and people are trying to work on their New Year's resolutions, that shit is packed as hell. Annoying. I did some strength exercises at home and then walked to CRCE and walked back out cause there was no way I was gonna wait that long to get on one of those cardio machines. Yesterday, I got wiser and managed to get one. I realized, however, that I am fuckin outta shape! In every possible way. Strength, cardio, flexibility. I mean holy shit, it's pitiful.

I've really been thinking about joining a dance group. Fuck CRCE, it's the best workout for me, hehe. It combines a lot of aspects of fitness and it's fun. I miss it a lot right now and it scares me how rusty I've become. Not that it would take too much to get back into it, but still.... It's always that initial step that's kinda hard. I probably won't join one this semester, but I think I'll seriously be considering it next year, hopefully take some Nonstop classes over the summer. I dunno, it really depends on work and what else I got going on. I really wanna get a summer internship. But if I do join a dance group next semester, that changes alotta shit.... I mean, already at this point I'm not exactly sure which orgs I wanna be involved with and to what degree.... There are a lot of options. I know I have to decide by the end of the semester, what with elections and all. God, this is gonna be even worse than last year. Last year I only had to decide between PSA and APAC. Blah.... I'm sure I'll be talking about this more throughout the next few months.

I made Glitterface come with me to see ?uestlove spin at High Dive yesterday for his 35th birthday. That dude is raw. Woulda loved to see him on the drums, though. Hehe. He basically took old school records that've been sampled and remixed them into the Hip Hop tracks we know and love. Sick with it, man. It was a pretty chill night for me, which I was thankful for because my feet wouldn't have been able to handle hardcore dancing in my heels. Ha ha. A lotta people came out, including Ace and Edward. Whoo! The hypeman mentioned the Cam'ron/Jay-Z Beef which my brother put me up on just earlier in the day. I listened to Cam'ron's track and it is WACK. It's like, c'mon dude. You're the one who started it, you comin' at Jay-Z of all people, and that's the best you could come up with? The whole damn thing is too long and boring through and through. His rhymes are nothing new or interesting, the beat is horrible, and you can't even understand the annoying ass singer. Weak shit. So yeah, yesterday at the set, they were mentioning how Jay-Z's got sum'n for him, though. Ha ha.

On a completely unrelated note, my dad's brother died of prostate cancer. My mom told me and then just put my dad on the phone. I was like, what the...? Yeah, I had no idea what to say. I mean, I never do, but it's worse when it's your own father and you can tell he's been crying (a very rare occurance) and it's your Uncle Edward/Eduardo whom you really know nothing about. I wish I knew more about my family. They're always such a mystery to me.

Eehhhhh....



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